EB: Giving ’em the business!

Brain dumps from the original Bonehead.

Truth Serum.

Ok – so last night I’m watching a Seinfeld rerun where George is dating this girl with a big nose.  Of course whenever anything bugs one of the main characters on the show it gets exaggerated greatly; which, when you think about it, is pretty much true-to-life.  Most of the time anything that bothers anybody isn’t nearly as big of a deal to onlookers.

So as the show is going on I could swear this girl’s nose is getting bigger!  And they keep doing these microscope close-ups to really dramatize the point.  So anyway, while Jerry, George, and Elaine are being all polite and what not, Kramer walks in and just goes off.  He vocalized what the other characters were thinking and what the viewers were manipulated into thinking… 

Cripes!!  That’s a big fuckin’ nose!

She’s eventually talked into getting a nose job.  The job gets botched and she ends up looking so horrid that the cameras won’t show her face, just the wretched expressions as each other character faces her.  Once again everyone is being courteous of her feelings until Kramer happens by and flatly tells her “You got butchered!”

The show ends with her getting a well done nose job and feeling good about it and ultimately dating Kramer instead of George.  But this is all fiction.  In real life a great majority of people won’t say what they really think; especially if it puts someone else’s feelings at risk.  We even have a word for it: tact.  It’s a whole skill about not stomping on peoples feelings but not necessarily being full of shit either.  What Kramer did was overwhelmingly honest, but tactless.  Tactless is bad, right? 


My home has changed quite a bit since I moved in.  Once upon a time if you said something hurtful you were a jerk and if you did something to hurt yourself you were a dumbass.  Now if you say something hurtful you’ve got issues and if I allow you to do something stupid and hurt yourself we’re maladjusted; and in each case we’ll all wind up in therapy. 

Ain’t it grand?


September 14, 2005 Posted by | Random Ramblings | Leave a comment

Oh, you mean *that* big-assed truck?

OK – so yesterday me and a co-worker went out for lunch and while wolfing down some tacos we had a rare treat: a view of street traffic in South Florida! 

I don’t know if you’ve ever driven there; or better yet had a chance to sit and just watch drivers there interact with one another but it’s damn funny.  This afternoon there was a delivery truck sitting double-parked on a two-lane, two-way street with the blinkers on.  After a few minutes we noticed that some traffic had begun to build up behind the truck but only in that one lane.  The traffic signal wasn’t broken and there was no flow of traffic to pin anyone in, just some jackass wasn’t paying attention and sat behind a double-parked delivery truck for maybe two or three red lights.  After maybe four minutes had gone by she finally realized something was amiss and moved on.

Quite literally no more than a full 60 seconds had gone by before a different car pulled up behind the truck, with a different woman behind the wheel and (presumably) a different cell phone pressed to her ear… in fact the only thing that both drivers had in common was the inability to recognize that the big-assed Pepsi truck with the flashers on wasn’t going to move!


One could assume that both women’s attentiveness was impaired by the cellphones they had pressed to their ears but who really knows, right?  But then it happened again.  A third woman in a third car drove right up behind the truck and did the same thing!  AND, in each case, the driver, upon realizing that the flashers meant “I ain’t movin'” would back up to about 1.5 Mini Coopers before proceeding into the next lane to pass.

ok so what?  three-in-a-row did it… so what?  It still doesn’t prove anything!

Still a fluke?  Ok cool… but then it happened again!  Four cars, four drivers, four phones, no fucking clue what they were doing.  The debate over whether any real evidence exists regarding the effects of cellphone use while driving has gone on for close to a decade now. 

I realize that everybody, even people that are against cellphone use while driving, will eventually want to be able to drive with their cells as needed.  But do it’s proponents, who insist that the negative data is inconclusive, genuinely believe that a lengthened reaction time and diminished attentiveness behind the wheel isn’t dangerous? 

Down here in So.Fla not a single day goes by when I don’t scratch my head while passing another driver and wondering ‘WTF are they doing???’, then, on the way by, see they’re pressing a phone to their ear. 

Somehow, I’m sure that’s not a unique experience.


September 14, 2005 Posted by | Driving | 2 Comments