EB: Giving ’em the business!

Brain dumps from the original Bonehead.

Oh, you mean *that* big-assed truck?

OK – so yesterday me and a co-worker went out for lunch and while wolfing down some tacos we had a rare treat: a view of street traffic in South Florida! 

I don’t know if you’ve ever driven there; or better yet had a chance to sit and just watch drivers there interact with one another but it’s damn funny.  This afternoon there was a delivery truck sitting double-parked on a two-lane, two-way street with the blinkers on.  After a few minutes we noticed that some traffic had begun to build up behind the truck but only in that one lane.  The traffic signal wasn’t broken and there was no flow of traffic to pin anyone in, just some jackass wasn’t paying attention and sat behind a double-parked delivery truck for maybe two or three red lights.  After maybe four minutes had gone by she finally realized something was amiss and moved on.

Quite literally no more than a full 60 seconds had gone by before a different car pulled up behind the truck, with a different woman behind the wheel and (presumably) a different cell phone pressed to her ear… in fact the only thing that both drivers had in common was the inability to recognize that the big-assed Pepsi truck with the flashers on wasn’t going to move!


One could assume that both women’s attentiveness was impaired by the cellphones they had pressed to their ears but who really knows, right?  But then it happened again.  A third woman in a third car drove right up behind the truck and did the same thing!  AND, in each case, the driver, upon realizing that the flashers meant “I ain’t movin'” would back up to about 1.5 Mini Coopers before proceeding into the next lane to pass.

ok so what?  three-in-a-row did it… so what?  It still doesn’t prove anything!

Still a fluke?  Ok cool… but then it happened again!  Four cars, four drivers, four phones, no fucking clue what they were doing.  The debate over whether any real evidence exists regarding the effects of cellphone use while driving has gone on for close to a decade now. 

I realize that everybody, even people that are against cellphone use while driving, will eventually want to be able to drive with their cells as needed.  But do it’s proponents, who insist that the negative data is inconclusive, genuinely believe that a lengthened reaction time and diminished attentiveness behind the wheel isn’t dangerous? 

Down here in So.Fla not a single day goes by when I don’t scratch my head while passing another driver and wondering ‘WTF are they doing???’, then, on the way by, see they’re pressing a phone to their ear. 

Somehow, I’m sure that’s not a unique experience.


September 14, 2005 - Posted by | Driving


  1. Amen, brother, amen!

    Comment by Mikey | September 14, 2005 | Reply

  2. Mr. Barber, They only thing you have proved with your little story, is that women don’t know how to drive. This message posted by citizens against women drivers.

    Comment by Ramon | October 6, 2005 | Reply

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