EB: Giving ’em the business!

Brain dumps from the original Bonehead.

Becoming more.

In the immortal words of Joe Piscopo: I was sent to the Dean’s Office once Johnny, once!

There was this guy, Dr. Sirkin, he was my high school Physics teacher.  The guy was a classic which is to say when you envision a high school physics teacher in your mind, the image you come up with for this guy is probably right on target – he looked the part.  Regardless, the guy was damn smart and pretty reasonable to get along with too.

Reasonable or not, me and Sirk kinda got into it just after midterms.  According to his own policy exams and quizzes made up 90% of your grade with the final 10% being homework and attendance.  When I realized I was acing all his tests I figured even if I didn’t do homework for the rest of the course I’d still get at least a 90 which is good enough for an A!  So I stopped…

Well weren’t you just the model f’ing student??

Hey I never said that!  Anyway, when he would make his morning rounds to collect homework I’d shuffle papers and pretend to look for mine and eventually give up with a shrug indicating that I didn’t have mine.  This got tired pretty quick and I started shortcutting straight to the shrug when he’d come by.  After midterms had come and gone Sirk finally had enough of my crap and he told me as much in front of the whole class.  He never threatened to fail me but said if I didn’t have my homework the following day he was going to send me to the dean and have me suspended from school!

Suspended from school for not doing homework??  Say it ain’t so!  This could potentially disturb the balance of the universe!  Say it ain’t so!!!

Whatever, asshole.  So the following day I come in and again have no homework to submit.  I suppose Sirk was expecting me to call his bluff because he had my Dean’s Note already filled out, dated, and ready for me.  Instead of making rounds he came straight to me – I shrugged and told him my dog ate it.  BAM!  He whips the note out from under his clipboard and moves on.

Your dog ate it?  And you called ME the asshole?  HAHAHA!!!

So down into the basement I go – preparing mentally, and emotionally, to take my suspension and go home and give my parents news they never thought they’d hear from me.  The dean was a man named Joy – and no, I’m not making that up.  I’d never met him but I’d heard of him and probably seen him in passing from time to time.  Apparently he’d heard of me too because he recognized me when I walked into his office; he looked at me and was visibly confused.  “What are YOU doing here?” he asked.  Dr. Sirkin sent me, I told him, and handed over my note.  He sat down behind his desk and looked quizzically at the note, then to me, then back to the note again.  Mister Joy cleared his throat and said “Go back to your class.  You’re not going to be suspended.  YOU don’t belong HERE.  Go back to your class.”

I was 17 years old and entirely unaware of what had just happened.  The strength of my reputation and the consistency of my character spoke louder that day than my voice ever could have.  It’s a kind of ultimate ideal that I’ve cherished since that day, the day that I realized doing just enough to get by isn’t doing enough at all.


November 6, 2005 - Posted by | Observations

1 Comment »

  1. “doing just enough to get by isn’t doing enough at all.” – Thanks for sharing the memory; it really ‘hit home’ for me today. I have had that ‘cruising by’ mentality for the past couple of months. Guess it’s time to change……


    Comment by Poca | November 7, 2005 | Reply

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