EB: Giving ’em the business!

Brain dumps from the original Bonehead.

The Time Machine.

Last night while watching last week’s re-run of Donald Trump’s “The Apprentice” I saw something I never would have expected – I saw two familiar faces.  Season four’s Final Two received their assignments and one of them was to promote an event for Yahoo!  During the show I was on the phone with my girlfriend and saw the apprentices hosting a meeting with Yahoo-folk and noticed that one of them looked eerily familiar but I wouldn’t put a name to the face.  Later on in the show I saw a second familiar face and suddenly locked it in – Wenda and Beth Ann! 

We all used to work together at an internet startup back in the late 90s where everything moved fast.  Although I didn’t spend alot of time working with Beth Ann (affectionately known as BAM back in those days), I did report to an amazing woman that reported directly to Wenda back when I first started there.  I vividly remember my entire 4-person support department being called into Wenda’s office to get chewed on specifically because *I* was underperforming and my boss, Priscilla, wouldn’t throw me under the bus. 

I’ve always been a team-oriented person.  I can think of few things more impressive than watching a group of individuals come together to complent and sacrifice for one another in pursuit of a larger goal.  I was overwhelmed with guilt for my poor performance and with appreciation for the team I worked with; they could’ve hung me out there on a limb but they didn’t.  Wenda’s been bigtime since long before I met her – there were so many co-workers there that were deathly afraid of her that I’ll admit even I was intimidated sitting in her office that day! 

I waited around after she was done with us and closed the door after everyone left.  Alone in her office I took, what I felt at the time, was a huge risk: I felt that the truth had gotten me pretty far in life and I was going to stick with it so I told her that every item she brought us in to address was not the fault of my team – it was exclusively my fault.  I told her I didn’t want to waste her time making excuses for what happened but I understood what needed to be done and I promised it would never, ever happen again.  Truthfully, I half-expected her to pull a Trump on me and give me the old “You’re Fired!!”, but she didn’t.  She smiled.  She seemed a bit surprised or impressed (or both) by my admission, but then thanked me… she said that she believed I could fix the problem and that I would fix the problem. 

That was all I needed to hear so, with my neck still intact, I got right back to it.  Working longer and harder and most importanly smarter than before.  A year later, around the time my dept was praised at a company meeting for transforming from a weakness into a strength, word got around that I was about to transfer into one of the sales divisions.  One of Wenda’s divisions.  While passing by she stopped at my desk to chat for a bit and reminded me of the promise I made to her in her office that day.  Smiling again, she said “You kept your promise.  You did a really great job here.  We’re very excited that you’re coming over.”

Do you ever wonder if the people you remember still remember you?

-E

December 14, 2005 Posted by | Personal Revelations | 3 Comments

Rediscovering the Passionate Lullabye.

If I said I’d been asleep for the past three weeks would you believe me?  Yeah I suppose I could’ve been comatose or something but that wasn’t the case – a piece of my soul had gone inert and it’s an absolutely devastating feeling.  I found myself feeling depressed because things that used to mean alot to me have begun to mean alot less and my sense of identity was challenged because of it.

All of this lead me to begin thinking alot about passion lately; specifically about trying to understand it.  I think the commonly accepted definition is off base because it’s not about sex or romance at all.  Think about it – for many people sex is no more passionate than an exercise bike, and romance is a tool in an emotional chess match.  Passion simply has to be more than that. 

I don’t enjoy being angry but I am infinitely grateful for my ability to get angry.  I used to refer to anger as my “default” emotion; it protected me from extended bouts of depression or frustration.  I inevitably get pissed, usually at myself for not exerting more control over the circumstances in my life, and once that anger gets me going I begin to feel alive again.  My goals become clear and my pursuit of those goals is nothing short of passionate.

Good morning!

-E

December 14, 2005 Posted by | Random Ramblings | 4 Comments