EB: Giving ’em the business!

Brain dumps from the original Bonehead.

The Single Girl’s To-Do List

The other day while driving to work, two local lady DJs were discussing this article they saw in Cosmopolitan about a list of 20 things every single girl should do before getting into a serious relationship.  Interested?  Hell yeah!  It certainly wouldn't be the same as, say, planting a mic in the girls locker room but I still think of a discussion like this as a potentially educational opportunity. 

While trying to find the article online I came across another interesting looking article on Cosmo/iVillage called Why He Goes Psycho Before He Gets Serious. Remind me and I'll come back for that one later…  Anyway, I started looking for similar content elsewhere because, as we all know, very little magazine content is original.  Since the stuff gets recycled every few months I was pretty certain I'd be able to find similar content elsewhere and BAM – along comes handbag.com. Their article, get this, is called 10 Things To Do Before Saying 'I Do'.

Boy, you really lucked out on that one huh?

At first I thought it could just as well be advice for men, but coming from a website called HANDBAG I figured the odds were in my favor.  Ok, no more stalling here's the list:

  1. Travel alone: Nothing feels as incredible as completely losing yourself in another country. Whether you stay a day or a year, give yourself the opportunity to experience the freedom of being utterly alone…you'll never feel so self-reliant or in control of your own destiny. And while you're at it…
  2. Have a holiday fling with someone who speaks not a word of English. Surely every woman's fantasy. No need to explain why you need him out of your bed by 10am…and he wouldn't understand you anyway. A swift kick should dislodge him from under your duvet.
  3. Acquire a hobby: It's time to indulge your interests – whether they include paper mache or parachuting. So what if your passion for collecting novelty tea cosies means trekking several hours to Swansea for their annual cosy-swap? Once you're married, you'll treasure the 'me time' that your hobbies will bring you, even if what you love is something as simple as meeting girlfriends for a monthly book club meeting.
  4. Live on your own: No, not with Ma and Pa. Not with flatmates. And certainly not with your bloke. Spend at least one three-month stretch living completely alone. If you don't already, you'll learn to love your own company – an important lesson for every woman. And if you're planning on staying married and having children, you may never have this chance again!
  5. Devote time to charitable causes: Figure out what it is you truly believe in – whether it's animal rights or resettling refugees. Spending a couple of hours each week making a difference in the community can put into perspective the everyday issues we all tackle in our relationships.
  6. Meet someone online: Create a profile, attach a photo, and let the worldwide web work its magic. Once you're married, it's unlikely you'll be in the market for an internet hook-up so make hay while the sun shines.
  7. Cry yourself to sleep: Experience heartache. Wallow in its agony. Learn to get over it and how to move on.  Knowing what real pain feels like will make you a better partner.
  8. Learn useful things: Don't rely on the other people in your life to know how to change the tyre on your car, cook dinner for six, or back up your hard drive. Put your brain to good use.
  9. Live dangerously: Do things on a whim. While you don't have someone at home worrying about you, get wildly drunk, dance on tables, catch the train to Paris and stay up all night. Or learn scuba diving, start your own business…take risks!
  10. Spend lots of money on something foolish: There's plenty of time for being sensible when you're married. Providing you actually have the funds to cover it, go nuts in Harvey Nicks, throw an enormous cocktail party for your friends, buy those Jimmy Choos you love in EVERY colour, or treat yourself to a disgustingly expensive haircut. You have nobody to answer to but yourself.

And there you have it.  So, a few observations:

  • The column was written by a Brit, that much is obvious.  Not that it matters much but some flexibility for cultural differences should be accounted for when considering this article.
  • Travel alone, have a fling, live alone, test your hottie rating with online dating, learn useful stuff and live dangerously… well, the pattern there is pretty apparent but what makes that particularly good advice for single women?
  • While I appreciate the asswhippings I've endured because, in hindsight, I understand that they ultimately made me a stronger man, I have no idea why anyone would recommend having your heart broken.  Sure, crossing the finish line feels sweet but DAMN that's one shitty race to have to run.
  • And the last one about spending lots of money on something foolish – on the radio their variant of the article said you should "max out your credit cards" before getting married.  Uhm, if I started on that one it'd take all day and I've momentarily misplaced my 10-foot-pole…

So what's the verdict?  Is this really great advice and I'm just too testosterone-blind to realize it?  Help me out, folks.


April 23, 2006 - Posted by | Relationships


  1. The advice is actually good….to a fault. Anything in excess is usually bad, so maxing out credit cards before you get married…..kinda stupid. I actually agree with all the others. You really need to experience all of the ‘alone’ time that ‘singledom’ can bring…..Not that ‘coupleship’ doesn’t have it’s advantages 🙂

    Note: The words in single quotes are probably not in the dictionary…

    Comment by Poca | April 27, 2006 | Reply

  2. You know, I have it on good authority that maxing out your cards before getting married is actually a good idea because you get to keep the goods and the bills become his problem. Then again, maybe I didn’t get that from such a reliable source?

    The single stuff is definetly something I agree with. I can’t begin to tell you how many people I’ve met that are so used to having fans that they don’t know how to be alone.


    Comment by barber | April 28, 2006 | Reply

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